thera and i are trying to decide what the title of my memoir should be. the current front runners are:

 ”i am silently laughing at my desk at my data entry job while listening to dystopia”

or

"i also feel like im doing this wrong because i am taking downers and using construction paper"


i am not at work, i am on ativan, drinking coffee and sending emails to graduate programs i want to take me. i am then noting that i have sent them these emails on color coded construction paper. 

this is where im at these days.


"day decieves, but at night no one is safe from hallucinations. the legends here are all of bloodfeuds and suicide, uncanny foresight and super natural knowledge."

-e. smart


doskapozora, dreams.

maryjblige:

Tina Turner & Cher (1977

(via uglygirlsclub)


i really love everything about this.

i really love everything about this.

(via powderdoom)


cobrashark:

9.23.14

cobrashark:

9.23.14

(via violencegang)


having some v serious third degree burns feelings at this moment in my life.

having some v serious third degree burns feelings at this moment in my life.


"You look like a babe, I’m gonna gram this." #hotdateswithrachelshine

"You look like a babe, I’m gonna gram this." #hotdateswithrachelshine


women who hate women must have the saddest and smallest worlds.


doskapozora:

For ten months (but actually much longer) I was pretending to be a different person than I really am, but now I’m going home before I can do any real damage to my self
/for ten months but actually much longer I was pretending that I could will myself into wanting things other than what I actually want
/it’s very weird, emerging from like the specific strains of ~radical theory that I spent my early 20s wading through, to find that I have a self that just keeps pushing back against the ways I try to Construct A Self
/you know like aesthetics you know like performance you know like performativity you know like it’s all whatever, except that
/in my own bad brain it keeps turning into this much worse thing, where if we’re performing selves then there is no excuse not to perform the best correct self 
/and so it just goes and goes, unlearning the stuff you’ve learned so that you can learn ~critical ~theory then unlearning the theory so that you can like live your dumb life and be extraordinarily touched by some like basic shit about having a true self
/like “learning who one really is and whom one needs to be with in order to fully realize that”
/like “the arc of the comedy”!

always and forever, doskapozora says it right.

doskapozora:

For ten months (but actually much longer) I was pretending to be a different person than I really am, but now I’m going home before I can do any real damage to my self

/for ten months but actually much longer I was pretending that I could will myself into wanting things other than what I actually want

/it’s very weird, emerging from like the specific strains of ~radical theory that I spent my early 20s wading through, to find that I have a self that just keeps pushing back against the ways I try to Construct A Self

/you know like aesthetics you know like performance you know like performativity you know like it’s all whatever, except that

/in my own bad brain it keeps turning into this much worse thing, where if we’re performing selves then there is no excuse not to perform the best correct self 

/and so it just goes and goes, unlearning the stuff you’ve learned so that you can learn ~critical ~theory then unlearning the theory so that you can like live your dumb life and be extraordinarily touched by some like basic shit about having a true self

/like “learning who one really is and whom one needs to be with in order to fully realize that”

/like “the arc of the comedy”!

always and forever, doskapozora says it right.